My husband and I are the proud parents of three awesome children. All of our children are girls. Yes…all girls and no boys. Sometimes when people discover this, they make *interesting* comments. Some of the comments are eye-roll inducing, but I often ignore those comments because I realize that most people don’t mean any harm.
However, over the past couple of years I’ve heard enough of those *interesting* comments to realize that some people have made inaccurate assumptions about what it’s like to have all of your children share the same gender. So, in an effort to set the record straight, I’m sharing five of the most common myths we have heard about having all girls and no boys. In addition, I’m offering my assessment of the myth and noting a Biblical truth that debunks the myth.
Myth 1: Our family is incomplete because we don’t have any sons.
My husband has told me that people (as in more than one person!) have actually offered condolences to him when they discovered that he is the father of three girls. Other people have offered to pray that God would send him a son. God has never allowed me to witness one of those conversations and I suspect this is not an accident.
My assessment: Our family lacks nothing. Well before we were here, God had already planned our family unit. We’re very happy with the family God has given us.
Bible Truth: For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)
Myth 2: We should keep trying until we have a boy.
Some people think we ought to keep having children until we have a boy. Our girls are as sweet as cupcakes but some people believe that a baby boy would the most spectacular icing on those cupcakes; the finishing touch that would make those cupcakes even better. Each time we were pregnant, my husband and I gave little consideration to the baby’s gender. We simply asked God to give us a healthy baby.
My Assessment: If we were to become pregnant again, we’d be satisfied whether we had another girl or our first boy. Every child, no matter the gender, is a gift from God.
Bible Truth: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17 NIV)
Myth 3: When the girls play, it’s all about dress up and tea parties.
I’d like to say that society had gotten past such silly notions, but each time I hear someone say something like this I’m reminded that we are still waging war against stereotypes. Sugar Plum, our middle daughter, does enjoy playing dress up, but she derives just as much joy from playing soccer and watching football games. My oldest daughter, Sweet Pea, can’t understand why anyone would think dress up and tea parties are fun. She’d rather build forts with her Legos, shoot hoops, or dig for worms in the backyard. Baby Girl, our youngest, just wants to do whatever her big sisters are doing.
My assessment: A girl’s activities are not limited to dress up and tea parties. They have varied interests and we support them as they embrace new things.
Bible Truth: I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NIV)
Myth 4: The girls are catty and fight all the time.
Because television and movies have portrayed girls as vicious and catty, society often assumes that this defines the nature of girls. Here is yet another lingering stereotype. Of course our girls bicker, but I don’t find that the amount of bickering they do surpasses the amount of bickering found in other families. When our daughters have arguments, my husband and I try to help them resolve their issues in a loving manner, stressing the importance of treating one kindly, and reminding them of the blessing of found in forgiveness.
My assessment: All children quarrel with their siblings. It’s not just a “girl thing”.
Bible Truth: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18 NIV)
Myth 5: Dad is a pushover who can’t resist giving his daughters anything and everything they want.
I laugh each time someone makes this assumption. Really I do. Anyone who believes that my husband is a pushover really doesn’t know him. Like me, he believes in discipline and holds the girlies accountable for their actions. Though my husband wants his daughters to be happy, his most important desire is that they become women who develop strong relationships with Christ and live for Him. That doesn’t happen if my husband creates spoiled, self-centered daughters.
My assessment: Though he wants our daughters to be happy, my husband recognizes that spoiling them will do more harm than good. My husband occupies a very important role in the lives of his daughters. He treats them with love and gives them good things, but he also guides them in the right direction and is firm with them when necessary.
Bible truth: Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)
Raising girls is the job God has given to my husband and me. We love our daughters dearly and are happy to raise them. All girls and no boys…and we’re okay with that.
Are you raising children of the same gender? Have you encountered any myths? Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment.
© 2014, Andrea Thorpe. All rights reserved.