Embracing Him

Today is the first Marriage Monday of the new year and I am happy to be a participant once again. Apparently, our lovely hostess, e-Mom over at Chrysalis, wants us to begin the new year with a smile, so she has asked to write about the humor in Christian Marriage.

Building and maintaining a strong marriage is hard work, but God wants couples to enjoy the time they spend creating a Godly marriage. One way our Heavenly Father helps keep our marriage and many others pleasant is by allowing us to experience a hearty dose of laughter every now and then. A few months ago, JT and I enjoyed a good laugh over something most unusual: a pink tutu.

My friend Monica and I have girls the same age and over the past few years, we have swapped books, toys, and clothes for our girls. In the fall, Monica’s daughter, Cutie Pie, took a dance class. After dance class ended, Monica enrolled Cutie Pie in an art class, while I enrolled my older daughter, Sweet Pea in dance class. Since Cutie Pie was no longer using her pink dance tutu, Monica gave it to me so Sweet Pea could wear it during her upcoming dance classes.

Before leaving Monica’s house, she placed the pretty pink tutu in a pink striped shopping bag and gave it to me. I neglected to bring the bag into the house so it remained in our minivan for a few days. Later that week, JT cleaned out the minivan, discovered the pink bag, and happily strolled into the kitchen holding the bag, and wearing a wide smile.

I was standing at the stove cooking dinner when JT said to me, “I see you’ve been shopping for something pretty, pink, and frilly!” I put down my spatula and turned around in time to see JT happily hoist the pink Victoria’s Secret bag. I immediately laughed as pink fabric and toile peeked out from the bag my husband was holding.

“I haven’t been shopping, but yes, there is indeed something pretty, pink, and frilly inside that bag,” I said.  I took the bag from him, pulled out Sweet Pea’s little tutu. “That’s mighty small,” JT said. “Yes, it is,” I said, “and Sweet Pea will look great in it during dance class. This is the tutu Monica gave to her!”

Lord knows, I wish I’d had a camera to snap a photo of JT’s face when I broke the news to him! We both had a good, long laugh (though I admit laughed a tiny bit longer than JT) over that pink tutu. JT, who is a great sport, remarked that Monica needs to use regular plastic shopping bags when giving things to his wife!

Hmmm, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. I wonder if my gift will include something pretty, pink, and frilly! For other humorous anecdotes about Christian marriage and an interesting wedding video, visit e-Mom over at Chrysalis.

Photo: Courtesy of shawnsjellybeans (Flickr)

I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm. (Psalm 55:8)

The first Monday of the month is here, so it’s time to enjoy another edition of Marriage Monday. e-Mom over at Chrysalis usually hosts Marriage Monday, but this month she has given me an opportunity to serve as guest hostess. I’m excited about today’s topic and I look forward to reading your thoughts on this month’s theme, The Sanctuary of Christian Marriage.

God has a wonderful plan for husbands and wives but the wild roller coaster ride of marriage sometimes causes us to forget this point. God intends for marriage to be a sanctuary for the both husband and the wife and within marriage couples should find a refuge, a place of safety, and a shelter from danger. This marital sanctuary should be the place both spouses turn to for refreshment, comfort, and understanding.

Many couples (including JT and me) forget or are not sure of how to create such a safe haven, but God’s word shows us exactly how it is to be done. According to Ephesians 4:31-32, we are to  “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Furthermore we are instructed to “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” If you’ve been married for more than a minute or two, you know accomplishing the goals outlined in this passage of scripture can be difficult at times. Nonetheless, God expects us to follow the directions He has outlined in His word. He will bless our marriages if we obey Him.

A marital sanctuary is created when we let go of selfishness and anger and instead offer kindness and forgiveness. When marriage is a place of safety, couples can freely express their opinions and desires without judgment and rejection. When marriage is a save haven, both husband and wife can reveal their fears and flaws without ridicule and repercussion.  When marriage is a true refuge, husbands and wives have no need to put up walls or be on guard. Each person is free to be themselves and is loved exactly as they are. A couple finds a shelter from life’s storms and their deepest needs are recognized, valued, and nurtured within the sanctuary of Christian marriage.

I am foregoing Monday Motivation in order to join our host Robyn over at Overflowing Grace for Marriage Monday. As usual, this month’s Marriage Monday topic is important, challenging, and thought provoking. This month we’re exploring The Grace of Marriage.

In order to understand how grace works in a marriage, we must first understand what grace is. Simply put, grace is the kindness God extends to us even though we do not deserve it. Several years ago in Sunday School, our teacher explained grace as an acronym I have never forgotten: God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.

The ultimate show of grace was demonstrated by Christ’s suffering and death on the cross. Though none of us deserve favor from God, He allowed His precious Son, Jesus, to die on our behalf so that our sins could be forgiven.

When we consider God’s example, it is obvious that grace is motivated by love. As I thought about my own marriage, a familiar passage of scripture came to mind.

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (I Corinthians 13:4-8)

Though this entire passage of scripture is important, the part that struck a chord with me was the latter half of verse 5: (love) is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Conviction immediately engulfed me as I thought about how many times I’ve defied that scripture by quickly getting angry at JT or by bringing up past hurts again and again. I am ashamed to admit that I have been easily angered and am guilty of recording wrongs. Definitely not a show of grace!

Grace is a necessity in a healthy marriage. When couples embrace grace, the fruit of the spirit sprouts (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), the weeds of bitterness, resentment, and selfishness are choked out, and God’s loving example nourishes the roots of the marriage.

If you, like me, have not extended grace to your spouse as often as you should, do not be discouraged. There is hope for us! The final verse of the above passage notes that love never fails. This means with God’s help we can interact with our spouses gracefully by exercising patience, accepting one another completely, showing unconditional love, placing their needs above our own, enduring the unpleasant incidents that occur pop up from time to time.

To hear what others have to say about this topic, please visit the contributors over at Overflowing Grace. I also recommend reading this article: Four Elements of a Grace Based Marriage.