Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. (Mark 10:9)

I’m always intrigued by the interesting information I find while surfing around the internet and today is no exception. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I learned a fascinating tidbit of information about the wedding ring tradition.

A poignant legend offers a detailed explanation and a thought provoking exercise to demonstrate why wedding rings are worn on the fourth finger. According to the legend each finger represents a familial relationship. The thumbs represent your parents, the index fingers represent your siblings, the middle fingers represent you, the ring fingers represent your spouse, and the pinky fingers represent your children.

To illustrate the span of these relationships, give this exercise a try.

• Open your hands and place them together, palm to palm.
• Bend the middle fingers and hold them together joint to joint.
  
• Keep the tips of the pinky fingers, ring fingers, index fingers, and thumbs together.

Remember that the middle fingers represent you. Now…

• Separate your thumbs. They will part because after years of nurturing, your parents will eventually open the door for you and release you into the world.
• Bring your thumbs back together.
• Separate your index fingers. They will part because you and your siblings will one day separate in order to pursue your own goals.
• Bring your index fingers back together.
• Separate your pinky fingers. They will part because sooner or later your children will leave your care and begin families of their own.
• Bring your pinky fingers back together.
• Now try to separate your ring fingers. You will find that they will not part. This is because God intends for husbands and wives to remain together all of their lives.

Though this explanation and exercise are based upon a legend, I love the message it conveys! Praise God for his gift of marriage and the joy He intends it to bring to both husbands and wives!

And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. (Romans 7:18-19)

Ever since Adam and Eve nibbled on forbidden fruit, we have been battling sin. Even after we admit our sins and accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, our personal war against sin yet rages on. Paul notes that though we want to do the right thing, our sinful, human nature can make it difficult for us to do so.

None of us are exempt from losing control and misbehaving. Just last night, I snapped, made a poor choice, and was later left asking myself, “Why, oh why, did I do that?”

I was having difficulties uploading some information to my blog so I sought help from JT. In the process of fixing one problem another problem was created when I was accidentally locked out of my blog’s administrative panel for a while.

According to JT, what followed was “quite the shootout” as my anger met his stubbornness head on! Was it my intention to blow up at JT? Was it his intention to take a stubborn stance? Certainly not, but we both succumbed to sin and ended up doing things we ought not and did not want to do.

Last night, JT and I were both reminded that the battle against sin is ongoing. Sin is an annoying parasite that latches onto us, irritates us, bites us, and infects us. Thankfully, our Savior Jesus Christ is the soothing salve for our sinful short comings! We can’t rely on our own strength as we wage this war against sin. We know what we want to do, but God knows what we ought to do. It is only in His power that we are able to act in a manner that glorifies our Heavenly Father. Thank God we can lean on Him and not wage this war against sin alone!

Photo: Courtesy of PauloElias (Flickr)

e-Mom is hosting Marriage Monday over at Chrysalis and this month’s topic is 10 Tips for Frugal Living.

When I was a single gal, frugal living never crossed my mind. I was fresh out of college, excited to have a job, and eager to spend my money on the things I had been waiting to own. Though I didn’t spend my money too unwisely, frugality was not on my list of priorities.

Now that we have a family and I am a stay at home mom, I’ve become a real “Frugal Franny” (much to JT’s pleasure!). God has provided JT with a great job and JT does a marvelous job of providing for us. I strive to be frugal because I don’t want to waste the money he works hard to earn and because I want to be a good steward of what God has given us.

Living frugally isn’t as hard as some might think and over the past few years I’ve learned you don’t have to adopt unreasonable ideas or live like a pauper in order to save money. Here are 10 realistic tips for frugal living that have worked for us.

1. Pack your lunch. When JT goes to work or we have a playdate or a daytrip, most of the time we bring our lunches with us. Lunch usually consists of the previous night’s dinner or a homemade sandwich, fruit, and a sandwich bag of chips. Since lunch can cost anywhere between $5 and $10 a person, we save a good amount of money just by eating what we have here at home.
2. Make it yourself. We’ve saved money by making things ourselves. This includes food items such as taco seasoning, spreadable butter, birthday cakes, and pizza dough and household items such as cleaners and even window treatments. When you make things yourself, you don’t have to buy them and you know exactly what is in them.
3. Plan a weekly menu. I have found that if I plan a weekly menu, we are less likely to order take out. I already know what we’ll be eating and therefore can defrost the meat the night before so it’ll be ready to cook in the morning. Menu planning also prevents me from spending money on groceries we don’t need. My grocery list is based on the weekly menu and the staples we need to restock.
4. Venture into a thrift store. You may be surprised by the awesome, money saving deals you can find there. The Goodwill Stores in our area often sell new, overstock items from Target. Once I purchased a set of Corningware baking dishes from Target for $40. The very next day I stopped by The Goodwill Store and found the same exact set of baking dishes brand new for $8. Needless to say, I made a return at Target shortly there after.You can find a plethora of toys, books, and household items there for bargain prices. And if you can find a store in an affluent area, you may be able to score some high end and designer items at rock bottom prices.
5. Shop wisely. For me this means knowing where to shop and using coupons. Though warehouses like Sam’s and Costco can save you money, I’ve found the greatest deals at my local supermarket and drugstores like CVS, Walgreens, and Rite Aid. When combined with coupons, you can save quite a bit of money. As I made my grocery shopping list for this week, I realized I’ll be coming back home with 2 toothbrushes, a bottle of Worcestershire sauce, and 2 sticks of deodorant for FREE! My grocery cart will also be filled with items I’ll get for 50% to 75% off just by using coupons. Grab a Sunday newspaper, explore those sales circulars, and start clipping coupons! You won’t regret it. For more shopping tips, check this previous post.
6. Surf the net. There are hundreds of great websites, forums, blogs, and groups online dedicated to money saving ideas. Most of what I have learned about frugal living has come from websites such as The Dollar Stretcher, Money Saving Mom, The Coupon Mom, Hot Coupon World, and The Hillbilly Housewife just to name a few. A simple chat with a few like minded Frugal Frannies often alerts me to ideas and deals I would otherwise have missed.
7. Use your library. We are well acquainted with the staff at our local library because we use the library’s resources so often. Not only do I find great books and DVDs there, I also find free educational activities for the girls there, and even some neat programs I can attend. Your tax dollars pay for the library, so why not put those dollars to work for you. (Just be sure to return items on time. Paying library fines is not frugal!)
8. Create and abide by a budget. (This is such a hard one for me sometimes!) JT and I sit down at least twice a year to discuss our family budget. We each have a set amount of money we can spend each week to cover personal and household expenses. When we stay within the budget we don’t overspend and both JT and I are happier.
9. Spend cash whenever possible. Whenever I use cash I always spend less. I’m going to take this idea and apply it to my spending this week. The envelope system (read more here and here) has been devised with this idea in mind. I will be using cash for my standard purchases this week and I’ll let you know how it goes.
10. Don’t keep up with the Joneses. While my friends and neighbors may take expensive vacations, eat out weekly, employ a housekeeper, and drive new fancy cars, that certainly doesn’t mean we can. We are living within our means and are happy to do so. Trying to keep up with others just for the sake of appearances can often lead to financial problems and is definitely NOT frugal!

Photo: Courtesy of RichSeattle (Flickr)

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! (Ephesians 4:9-10)

Today JT and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary! During today’s service, the church recognized August wedding anniversaries and presented all couples with roses as the congregation sang an anniversary song. (I so love stuff like that!)

Six years and two children later, JT and I are still dedicated to each other and our marriage remains a top priority. Over the past six years, God has used our marriage to draw us closer to Him and to further develop the fruit of the Spirit within us. Daily God is teaching us both about the importance of doing things His way.

Though we didn’t celebrate privately today, JT and I did enjoy a great Sunday with our girls. We hope to have a belated celebration later this week. Thanks to the generosity of some close friends, JT and I will be enjoying a cozy dinner at a restaurant we’ve been eyeing for a while. (Won’t you join us in praying that the babysitter is free some evening this week?) In the meantime, we’re looking forward to many, many more happy years together!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

It’s Marriage Monday over at Chrysalis and once again e-Mom given me something to think about. Her motivational topics always light a fire under me and ignite great conversations with my husband. This month, e-Mom has asked us to discuss our husbands’ need for recreational companionship.

Whenever I think of men and recreation, I automatically think of outdoor activities (football, fishing, and such). Generally speaking, I’m not an “outdoorsy” girl. My outdoor exposure is usually limited to a comfy spot under a beach umbrella on the shore or sitting on my front porch enjoy the early evening breeze. (Important note: If the bugs or heat get to be too extreme, my outdoor stint comes to an abrupt end!)

On the other hand, JT is an outdoors, adventurous man. He’s done skydiving, made a home on board an aircraft carrier for months, and climbed mountains. During the nine years we’ve been together, he is S-L-O-W-L-Y bringing me out into the great outdoors through some fun outings!

• Great Falls, Virginia: Early in our relationship, JT took me to this state park where we explored mountain trails and enjoyed quality time together. As I recall I was too busy admiring waterfalls and trying not to slip off the amazing rock formations to be annoyed by insects.

• Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania: JT talked me into trekking around Bushkill Falls and I don’t regret it. It was another time I enjoyed exploring the beauty of God’s earth with JT. Even though he picked the steepest trail for us to attempt, we had a fantastic time together and spent a lot of time holding hands.

• California: This trip was the greatest outdoor fun I’ve ever had with JT! He planned the entire trip and we had an awesome time! After landing in San Diego we spent days traveling up Route 1 and stopping at great places along the way. My favorite part of that trip was our stay in Marina, where we stayed in a bungalow right on the beach. That night we sat on the beach and watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. It was absolutely breathtaking. JT’s favorite part of the trip was watching me do a slow, white knuckled drive up Route 1!

These outings and trips have taught me a few things. First, JT and I have the most fun when he drags me off the beaten path and out into nature. When I step outside my comfort zone and allow him to plan our outings we always have fun. Second, JT and I always engage in quality conversation during these outings because we’re not distracted by the sensory overloads found in typical dates at movies, restaurants, amusement parks, and the like. Third, JT and I need to do a better job of getting out and about. This time together breathes fresh air into our marriage, gives us both something to look forward to, and prevents life from becoming mundane.

Our sixth wedding anniversary is coming up on August 17 and JT is planning a bed and breakfast beach getaway for us. We’re both looking forward to this special time, a chance to enjoy each other’s company uninterrupted in nature.

To read other what other women have to say about men and play, be sure to visit Chrysalis over at her blog.

Photo: Courtesy of brendajo2

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32)

This past weekend, JT and I were doing some yardwork. (Actually JT was doing most of the work but I did check in with an occasional word of encouragement and a beverage.) At one point, the girls and I stepped out of the house to see how he was doing. JT was busy hedging along the side of the house. After checking in with him, we turned to go back into the house but before I could get in the door, the hedger fell silent and I heard JT say, “Aww, no!”

I zipped back around to the side of the house to see what was wrong. JT simply said, “Could you please go into the house and see if the phone is working?” I went in, checked the telephone, and found there was no signal. Call me clueless, but I still didn’t realize why JT was asking me to check the phone until I got back outside. I told him the phone wasn’t working and he said, “I didn’t think it would. I accidentally cut the phone line.”

Though my temper sometimes flares, I didn’t get upset or angry with JT. I knew he was already annoyed with himself and I didn’t want to make him feel worse. Besides that, it would have been so wrong of me to criticize him! After all, JT has stood silently and hugged me lovingly as I told him how I’d broken off the car’s side view mirror (more than once!) while pulling into the garage. JT never uttered one word of condemnation when I shattered the window of the new minivan with the stroller that had slipped from my hands as I unhooked it from the ceiling of the garage.

After placing a service call to the telephone company, I thought about how I had responded to JT’s mistake and was proud of the way I’d handled the situation. I didn’t fly off the handle and exacerbate the situation with angry words. I didn’t belittle my husband by offering sarcastic remarks.

Sometimes my temper flares and I handle situations improperly. Over the past several months, I’ve been praying that God would help me use the fruits of the spirit to guide my actions. God has seen my weaknesses and has been answering that prayer. In Ephesians 4:32, we are reminded to be kind, loving, and forgiving in our interactions with one another.

What a shame it would been for me to sever communication with my husband while I seethed about a telephone line he had accidentally cut! Telephone lines can quickly and easily be repaired, but the real lines of communication often take much longer to restore, especially after they’ve been damaged by thoughtless behavior and unkind words. I pray we all will let the words of Ephesians 4:32 guide our interactions with others!

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (I Corinthians 13:1)

Once again, it’s Marriage Monday over at Chrysalis and this month we’re blogging about a fun topic: “The Crazy Way We Met’. e-Mom has invited us to share stories about how we met our hubbies! What fun reading this will be for us all!

In September 1999, my friend and sorority sister Rhonda, told me that her husband had a cousin named JT who was new to the area and looking to meet people. Rhonda explained that JT was a Christian and was really hoping to meet a lovely, fun-loving Christian woman.

Rhonda thought JT and I would be a great match. She suggested that a double date along with she and her husband would be a great way for JT and me to meet. I explained to Rhonda that I was really not interested in a blind date but she convinced me that it would be fun and that a “walk on the wild side” would be good for me.

That night, as I got ready the 6:00 pm date, I told Valerie, my roommate at the time and my best friend, that I would be home by 8:00 pm. My plan was to chat cordially for a little while, enjoy a good dinner, get back home as soon as possible, and put the silliness of a blind date behind me.

Rhonda had already told me what JT looked like and what type of car he was driving. As I pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I saw the car Rhonda had described and spotted a man matching JT’s description getting out of it. I thought, “He’s pretty cute. Perhaps this won’t be such a bad night after all.”

The night turned out to be one of the greatest nights of my life! JT was shy and handsome, but also proved to be intelligent, insightful, and thoughtful. After Rhonda and her husband had gone, JT and I spent a long time chatting in the restaurant parking lot. We exchanged telephone numbers and promised to get in contact with one another soon.

That night, I returned to my apartment around 11:00 pm. Valerie didn’t even have to ask whether or not I’d had a good time. My face showed it all! After our first date, JT and I were inseparable! We dated for 3 years and married on August 17, 2002.

To read more great stories, visit Marriage Monday.

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. (Proverbs 24:3-4)

JT and I have new bedroom furniture! After nearly 6 years of marriage, we finally bid farewell to our hodge-podge bedroom furniture. Though mix and match and shabby chic may be popular themes on HGTV, neither theme was working well in our bedroom!

The former bedroom “set” (and I use the word ’set’ very, very loosely) was a not so harmonious mix of JT’s bachelor days and my bachelorette days. The pieces were functional but were a variety of colors, sizes, and styles that did not compliment one another. Our new matching bedroom set is dark walnut and features a gorgeous sleigh bed, a tall chest of drawers, a wide mirrored dresser, and a matching nightstand. (An added bonus is that the new bed is too high for Sweet Pea to climb up onto!)

In addition to the bedroom set, we also purchased a large comfortable chair. This chair is my favorite part of the bedroom! It’s the perfect place to curl up with a great book or snuggle with my honey. However, whenever I’m hanging out in my favorite chair, I’m usually on my laptop planning our weekly menus, chatting with the gals on my favorite forums, surfing the internet, or working on my current writing project.

If you ask JT what I’m doing while lounging in my chair, he may share a different opinion. He thinks I’m up there quietly doing some online shopping. This may or may not be true. On occasion, my browser may have been pointed towards…

eBay.com
craigslistorg
Smartbargains.com
overstock.com
qvc.com
deepdiscount.com
couponcabin.com

No matter how we spend time in our bedroom, JT and I love our new furniture. We’re on our way to creating the perfect retreat just for us!

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15-16)

Before JT and I married we completed 20 weeks of Biblical premarital counseling at our church. Our counselor helped us explore our relationship more deeply and guided us as we pondered the decisions needed to make our family function successfully.

Over the course of those 5 months, JT and I came to several decisions. One of the more obscure decisions was about television. We decided that we only wanted one television in our house and that it would NOT be in our bedroom.

Nearly 6 years later, our family room still houses the only television we own. We saved our pennies and purchased a great one, a large flat screen with a DVR (an absolute must have when you have children and/or only one television in the house!). How have we survived? By learning to wait, using our time more wisely, and of course setting the DVR!

Apparently keeping television out of the bedrooms of teens is a good idea too. A recent study by the University of Minnesota School of Public Health has shown that teens who have televisions in their bedrooms are less likely to engage in healthy habits. A bedroom television compromises the amount of exercise teens obtain, adversely affects the amount of time teens spend interacting with their families, and limits the teens’ intake of healthy foods. Does this surprise anyone? I don’t think it should.

JT and I don’t have a television in our bedroom and we will not permit the girls to have them in their bedrooms either. We’re increasingly disturbed by the filth found on television at all hours of the day. Besides that, we’re big on family here, so we’re enjoying our time together without the constant distraction of television. No, we’re not ready to toss the toss the television (at least not yet); we just don’t want it to become a substitute for quality time with those we love.