Embracing Him

Holding onto God throughout every season of life

  • Home
  • About
    • Family First
    • Disclosure Policy
    • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
  • Christian Living
    • Biblical Resources
    • Marriage
    • Parenting
  • Blog

Helping Children Grieve

04/11/14 | Homemaking

My family held a funeral for my grandfather earlier this week. Our hearts ache.

Like you, I am no stranger to grief. But this time the grieving process is different…more complicated. I have young children who are grieving as well. So, in the midst of my personal grieving, I must help my children grieve too.

I wanted to make sure I was equipped to help my girlies work through their grief so I asked a few friends and clergy members for their advice on how to help children grieve. I am not an expert on grief.  I’m merely sharing what I’ve learned with the hope that it will aid other families in helping children grieve the loss of a loved one.

Let them know that death is a part of life. It’s important for children to understand that our earthly bodies will not last forever. The budding, blooming, wilting, and death of a flower provide an excellent child appropriate example of the phases of life.  We explain that though death is a part of life, those who trust Christ as Savior will go to Heaven and live a joyous new life with Him.

Listen. Be sure to listen carefully when your child wants to talk about the loss and don’t expect them to talk about the loss all at once. Your child may wish to talk about the loss several months later and seemingly out of the blue. A year after my grandmother passed, Sugar Plum would still sometimes burst into tears and want to talk about how much she missed Gram.

Answer questions. When my grandmother died a few years ago, the girlies were younger, so they didn’t have very many questions. Now that they are older, they have more questions about death. Give an honest, but age appropriate answer. If you don’t know something, say so. Don’t fabricate a response just to provide a quick answer. Also, pray for God to give you wisdom as you respond to the children’s inquiries.

Don’t hide your grief. If your grief is going to cause you to lose control, you will not want your child to see such an emotional outburst as it may frighten them. However, if a photo of your deceased loved one or a fond memory triggers causes you to cry, don’t hide those feelings. Be honest with your children. Tell them you feel sad. It is important for children need to understand that all people, young and old, experience grief.

Let them know that people grieve in different ways. Talk to your children about the ways people grieve. One person may cry a lot, while another person grows quiet. Some people express their grief through writing or art. Not everyone will express grief in the same manner, but children need to understand healthy ways to express grief.

Be patient. If your child is reluctant to talk about the loss, don’t force a conversation. The grieving process can be long. Give your child time to process what has happened and let him know you’re available to talk. If you notice he is struggling and it’s been a while since you’ve talked about the loss, gently remind your child that you are ready to listen should he choose to talk.

Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Sometimes a parent is not equipped to a child grieve because she is consumed by her own grief or because the child isn’t coping well. If you are overwhelmed or concerned, seek the assistance of a trained Christian counselor to help your child work through their grief. It may even be a good idea to go to counseling as a family.

Grief is a sad, but common experience. By using practical steps and exercising sensitivity, parents can help guide their children through the grieving process. Do you have tips for helping children handle grief? If so, feel free to let us know with a comment.

photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin cc

© 2014, Andrea Thorpe. All rights reserved.

Embracing Him

Comments | 8 comments

« Lemon Pineapple Cake
Holy Week Felt Book »

Comments

  1. valerie says

    April 13, 2014 at 6:20 am

    Praying that you and the girlies can help each other during this difficult time.

  2. Andrea Thorpe says

    April 13, 2014 at 8:15 am

    Thank you for stopping by and sending prayers. I truly appreciate them!

  3. Tammie says

    April 13, 2014 at 8:49 am

    Andrea, this is beautiful and shows good understanding. I appreciate your sensitivity to your children’s needs, and your good sense in seeking counsel early.

    Also, I’m sorry for your loss, and I am praying that the Lord will give you comfort and strength in your own grief. <3

  4. Andrea Thorpe says

    April 13, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    Thank you Tammie! Your encouraging words and prayers are greatly appreciated!

  5. Tawn Scotton says

    April 23, 2014 at 11:56 am

    Andrea, I am continuing to pray for your family the loss of your grandfather. Your sweet spirit and the beautiful girlies will be balm of healing to each other, I pray. I lost several important and close member the last six months but the boys lost only one but PopPop was such a huge presence I wasn’t sure how it would affect them. Thank you for sharing this person journey. God has given quite a gifted vessel as a resource ?

  6. Andrea Thorpe says

    April 23, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Thank you for the prayers and the kind words! I wasn’t sure how the girlies would handle his passing either, but so far they’re doing pretty well. We all have difficult moments from time to time, but our merciful Lord has allowed these moments to occur at different times. This allows us all an opportunity to show God’s love to one another as we comfort. I’ll be praying for you and your boys as you hold onto the memories of your wonderful PopPop. Thanks for stopping by!

  7. Tammy says

    June 26, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    I am a mom to a 12 yr old girl, a 10 year old girl and an 8 yr old little boy. My step-dad (44) was on his way home from work the other day and had a massive heart attack and passed. He was the best friend of my children; their world. They are all grieving different. Our oldest is quiet and reserved while our 10 yr old is very open with her tears. Just asking for prayers for our family!! We have our faith in or Lord and Savior, I know time will heal. However, it’s so hard to watch them hurt.

  8. Andrea Thorpe says

    June 26, 2014 at 11:28 pm

    Tammy, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss! Death, especially a sudden one like you described, is especially hard to handle. It’s good that you understand that each of the children is grieving differently. You’ll be able to tailor your responses to their grief based on their individual needs. My husband and I will most certainly pray for you and your children this evening as you remember your step-dad. May God strengthen and bless you during this time of sorrow.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badgeShow more posts

Connect with Me

  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Get the free set of Bible verses here

Follow me!

This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: No connected account.

Please go to the Instagram Feed settings page to connect an account.

Copyright © 2021 · Design by Monique B Designs

Copyright © 2021 · Tasteful Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in