My husband and I are the proud parents of three awesome children. All of our children are girls. Yes…all girls and no boys. Sometimes when people discover this, they make *interesting* comments. Some of the comments are eye-roll inducing, but I often ignore those comments because I realize that most people don’t mean any harm.
However, over the past couple of years I’ve heard enough of those *interesting* comments to realize that some people have made inaccurate assumptions about what it’s like to have all of your children share the same gender. So, in an effort to set the record straight, I’m sharing five of the most common myths we have heard about having all girls and no boys. In addition, I’m offering my assessment of the myth and noting a Biblical truth that debunks the myth.
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Myth 1: Our family is incomplete because we don’t have any sons.
My husband has told me that people (as in more than one person!) have actually offered condolences to him when they discovered that he is the father of three girls. Other people have offered to pray that God would send him a son. God has never allowed me to witness one of those conversations and I suspect this is not an accident.
My assessment: Our family lacks nothing. Well before we were here, God had already planned our family unit. We’re very happy with the family God has given us.
Bible Truth: For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)
Myth 2: We should keep trying until we have a boy.
Some people think we ought to keep having children until we have a boy. Our girls are as sweet as cupcakes but some people believe that a baby boy would the most spectacular icing on those cupcakes; the finishing touch that would make those cupcakes even better. Each time we were pregnant, my husband and I gave little consideration to the baby’s gender. We simply asked God to give us a healthy baby.
My Assessment: If we were to become pregnant again, we’d be satisfied whether we had another girl or our first boy. Every child, no matter the gender, is a gift from God.
Bible Truth: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17 NIV)
Myth 3: When the girls play, it’s all about dress up and tea parties.
I’d like to say that society had gotten past such silly notions, but each time I hear someone say something like this I’m reminded that we are still waging war against stereotypes. Sugar Plum, our middle daughter, does enjoy playing dress up, but she derives just as much joy from playing soccer and watching football games. My oldest daughter, Sweet Pea, can’t understand why anyone would think dress up and tea parties are fun. She’d rather build forts with her Legos, shoot hoops, or dig for worms in the backyard. Baby Girl, our youngest, just wants to do whatever her big sisters are doing.
My assessment: A girl’s activities are not limited to dress up and tea parties. They have varied interests and we support them as they embrace new things.
Bible Truth: I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NIV)
Myth 4: The girls are catty and fight all the time.
Because television and movies have portrayed girls as vicious and catty, society often assumes that this defines the nature of girls. Here is yet another lingering stereotype. Of course our girls bicker, but I don’t find that the amount of bickering they do surpasses the amount of bickering found in other families. When our daughters have arguments, my husband and I try to help them resolve their issues in a loving manner, stressing the importance of treating one kindly, and reminding them of the blessing of found in forgiveness.
My assessment: All children quarrel with their siblings. It’s not just a “girl thing”.
Bible Truth: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18 NIV)
Myth 5: Dad is a pushover who can’t resist giving his daughters anything and everything they want.
I laugh each time someone makes this assumption. Really I do. Anyone who believes that my husband is a pushover really doesn’t know him. Like me, he believes in discipline and holds the girlies accountable for their actions. Though my husband wants his daughters to be happy, his most important desire is that they become women who develop strong relationships with Christ and live for Him. That doesn’t happen if my husband creates spoiled, self-centered daughters.
My assessment: Though he wants our daughters to be happy, my husband recognizes that spoiling them will do more harm than good. My husband occupies a very important role in the lives of his daughters. He treats them with love and gives them good things, but he also guides them in the right direction and is firm with them when necessary.
Bible truth: Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)
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Raising girls is the job God has given to my husband and me. We love our daughters dearly and are happy to raise them. All girls and no boys…and we’re okay with that.
Are you raising children of the same gender? Have you encountered any myths? Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment.
Photo courtesy of sattva/freedigitalphotos.netredit
© 2014, Andrea Thorpe. All rights reserved.
Andrea! I so understand! I have a post similar to this one in reverse! I am all boys, not girls. I know God has called my husband and I to raise future leaders, husbands, and fathers for Him. We desire that our sons will bless someone’s daughter one day in marriage knowing their roles and responsibilities as a Godly man, faithful husband, and committed father. Nothing is missing because we do not have daughters; likewise nothing is missing at Embracing Him for not having any sons. I will have daughters one day….future daughters in love!!! -the God-Praisin’, Boy Raisin’ Mom
I figured I’d find other people who’d understand this! God has given us our girls for a specific purpose and we’re thrilled He chose us for the job. Reporting for duty and happy about it! Thanks for stopping by!
Lol. My husband wanted a son to carry on his name. I had to remind him that the only name that matters is the name of Jesus!
That’s a great point Tiffany! I can understand a man’s desire to have his family name carry on, but you’re right the name of Jesus is by far the most important. That makes me think of WOMEN like Rahab and Ruth who were grafted into the lineage of Jesus. Thanks for visiting!
Great post! Totally understand 🙂 I grew up with 3 girls no boys in my family!! Thanks for sharing, Andrea!!
Joan Harrington recently posted…10 Reasons Why You Should Start A Blog
Thanks for taking the time to drop by Joan! I’m glad to see another mom who understands our family’s situation. If I need an expert opinion on this matter, I’m definitely going to talk you you!
LOL This is too funny as I remember when I had only 3 boys with no girls. Now I have 4 boys and 2 girls and people wonder if I plan to try and have 2 more girls to match the 4 boys! LOL They tell me I might as well keep going…
Mystiqua, I think no matter how many kids we have and no matter what their gender, someone will always have something to say! Isn’t 7 the number of completion? One more time! LOL:)
Very interesting post!!! I am As you know I am preparing for my second boy. I am a few years behind you in the child rearing game. I find some of the reactions thus far interesting to say the least. “People” have already looked beyond this pregnancy and asked how long I will wait to try for a girl. Like you my desire is for healthy babies. We trust God has given us the best family for us.
Thank you so much for this post! I also have children of the same gender and receive many of these comments as well. You have a great attitude – to just let it go knowing that people usually don’t mean any harm. To be honest, I struggle with this; especially as my girls get older! When they were babies and didn’t really tune in to what grown ups were saying, it was one thing; but now, they hear and ask me about it. “Why isn’t being a girl enough?” This is troubling to me. I’m so glad you shared your thoughts on this and those Bible verses!
Julie recently posted…Fellowship Fridays 20 & Fellowship!
I’m honored that you’ve paid me a visit Julie! Thanks for adding to the discussion. I’m a Type A girl by nature, so it’s always a struggle for me to zip my lips and let silly comments slide. Now that my daughter is older, I too am finding that she overhears things that require an explanation and/or reassurance from my husband and me. Girls are yet fighting an uphill battle, but when they leave our home to venture out into the world, they will know they are talented and capable.
Valerie, glad you found the post so interesting. You’ll soon learn what I’m talking about:) Yes, God knows best!
This is so interesting to me because I have several friends who have all boys. I must admit that there was a time that I thought I’d probably die if I had 4 boys and no girls. Thankfully I never voiced such an opinion! I always thought that I was a better mom to a girl and that I wouldn’t know how to raise a boy. My surprise boy is now 6 and I’m enjoying him completely.
Now, about that tea party comment. My perspective on this is “Yeah, so?” Why is our society so bent on shaming all things feminine? Women were created to be nurturing, to enjoy lovely things, and to take special interest in the people around them. Why are we quick to downplay it when our girls want to play with their dolls and quicker to make sure everyone knows that “my girl is a Tom Boy” (Not saying this about you but culture in general even in the church). Why is it applauded and encouraged when a girl acts like a boy and yet we know how unnatural it would be for a boy to act like a girl?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m the first to say “I’m not a girly-girl” and by that I mean that “bling” is not my thing. I don’t spend money on “froo-froo”. But feminine? Yes. Afraid of spiders? You bet, and never afraid to ask the nearest gentleman to get rid of one for me.
Without tea parties we’re losing hospitality, and all the beautiful things that come from it.
So, for me, if someone has a problem with girls wanting to play dress up, I’d just say “It’s the way God made them and I praise Him for it”. (And what husband doesn’t love that his wife wants to look nice for him and create a loving atmosphere in their home? That comes from the feminine nature– seen in childhood as playing dress up.)
OK, I’m sorry, I’ve written an entire blog post right here on your comments!
Nice article, sounds like you’ve got a lovely family, just the way God made it!
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No worries about comment length Beth. Sometimes we just have lots to say:) I appreciate you taking the time to visit and sharing your point of view.
I’m perfectly fine with tea parties and if the girlies invite us to them, hubby and I find our places among the stuffed animals and dolls, cozy up, and sip tea. I’m not opposed to tea parties at all and am not downplaying them in the least as one of my girlies LOVES them. My point is that I don’t want people to automatically assume that pink, frilly, princess-y things are what my girlies enjoy. Children, and people in general for that matter, are more complex than the stereotypical roles sometimes assigned to them. Playing with Barbie is fine but climbing trees is just as fine too. I want the girlies to be who they are.
Do I want my daughters to be hospitable? Yes. Am I raising them to be the nurturers I believe God call women to be? Absolutely. But those qualities can be taught in a variety of ways. Your point about girls acting like boys being acceptable and boys acting like girls is a good is well taken here. Definitely food for thought. I’m definitely going to chat with my husband about that.
Thank you for the warm words regarding my family. My husband and I want to raise our children in a way that brings Him glory! We serve a wonderful Savior who knows EXACTLY what we need! By the way, I’m terrified of spiders, but have NO qualms about asking anyone to come and kill it for me. This includes the nearest gas station attendant or complete strangers:)
Andrea, just had to come back & tell you how I was ROTFL about you asking ANYONE to come kill a spider. Full disclosure: I will even ask my kids! 🙂
Julie recently posted…Fellowship Fridays 21 & Featured Post: Being Confident
I’m glad you got a giggle Julie:) I HATE SPIDERS. Superman can’t handle kryptonite. I can’t handle spiders. Asking the kids to kills the spider is about as good as asking my youngest’s invisible friend to do it.
andrea, i love your post:) we are the parents of 3 girls also! i guess really 4, one is in heaven. but we raised 3. they are now 43, 41, 37 and parents of their own families…one of which is a family of 3 girls too:)
i can identify with all the comments you shared. hard to believe isn’t it? all our prolife friends who have such an anti-girl slant?! ugh!
i must confess, i did want one boy. just one. i love variety. my husband was raised in an all-boy family and all the boys had girls. we were the last of the group to have chidren and i wanted to make my mark on the family with just one boy…but it wasn’t meant to be.
i wouldn’t give for our girls however. they have been delightful! they have such variety and potential. the directions their lives can go? unimaginable! and we get to be the grammis to their children:) awesome!
enjoy your girls as you have. don’t let the questioners get you down. their world is narrow.
martha brady recently posted…RELATIONSHIPS: A NOVEL WAY TO CHANGE THE WORLD…
Martha,thank you for your encouraging words! We have a sweet wee one in heaven too and my hubby is also part of an all boy family. God knew what he was doing when He sent us our girls. We’re learning much as we let Christ lead us while we lead them.