My oldest daughter will turn ten in a couple of months and I’m trying to keep it together friends! Though I still see her as my baby, she’s changing. Sweet Pea behaves differently. She talks differently. And my goodness, she’s certainly starting to look different.
It’s puberty. I’d heard it would eventually come, but part of me didn’t really believe it would arrive. Well, whether I like it or not, puberty is here.
A weird thing is happening to me as I watch my daughter change. I’m changing too. God is working on me, teaching me, encouraging me, preparing me to be the supportive pillar Sweet Pea can lean upon as she enters this time of transition. I’m praying more fervently. I’m searching the scriptures more frequently. I’m listening more intently and watching more carefully. I want the Godly wisdom needed to guide my pubescent daughter!
This is brand new territory for me, so I reached out to more the experienced mothers I know. I am so very thankful for Godly women like Angie, Robin, Audrey, and my own awesome mother, Patricia. These wonderful women have encouraged me, prayed for me, prayed with me, and calmed me. Today, I’m sharing the wise recommendations these lovely ladies offered for helping my daughter through puberty. I hope these five tips will help you as much as they’ve helped me.
8 Tips to Help My Daughter Through Puberty
Relax. This is the first piece of advice I received from my mom and it was reiterated by two of the other moms as well. If I become anxious about the onset of puberty, my daughter may sense my anxiety and become anxious as well. Instead of her seeing puberty as a natural occurrence, my daughter view puberty as something to be feared.
Let her know she’s not alone. Puberty can make a girl feel isolated and insecure. Because my daughter doesn’t hear others talking openly about the changes she’s experiencing, she may think she’s the only one going through puberty. My friends recommend that I let my daughter know that she isn’t the only who who has gone through puberty and inform her that her friends will experience it as well. Another way to let my daughter know that she isn’t alone is by talking to and reminding her I that also experienced puberty.
Inform her that puberty is a part of God’s plan. One friend stressed the importance of letting my daughter know that God is at work during her time of puberty. I can remind my daughter that God has a plan for her life and that His plan includes helping her grow into a woman. She needs to understand that she is “wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and that puberty is a part of God’s developmental plan for her life.
Pray. Puberty can be a frightening time for a girl (and her mother!). Every mother I talked to encouraged my daughter and me to pray during this time. When we pray, we can talk to God about our specific needs, ask Him to calm our fears, and listen for His voice of direction. If I want to learn how to best help my daughter during this time, I must pray.
Encourage her to come to you with her questions and concerns. A mother is her daughter’s greatest teacher. My friends noted the importance of letting my daughter know she should come to me with her questions and concerns. I don’t want my daughter seeking advice from her peers, so I need to maintain open lines of communication. I want my daughter to feel comfortable coming to me if she needs an explanation about something or if she’s worried. If a daughter is too shy to speak openly about puberty, Mother Daughter journals may serve as another method of communication.
Remind her that she is beautiful. During puberty our daughters can feel awkward and unattractive. Now more than ever, daughters need their mothers to remind them of how beautiful they are on the outside and on the inside, where true beauty resides. This is the time for me to teach my daughter how to be comfortable with how God made her. If she cannot see herself as the beautiful girl God created, I have to be her mirror, reflecting the wonderful and accurate image she needs to see and embrace.
Help her to select appropriate undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to look indecent or to become an object of ridicule so it’s important for me to help her choose appropriate undergarments. Comfortable and properly fitting training bras and panties are now important wardrobe staples for my daughter. Some of the moms suggested arranging a special mother daughter outing for specifically for shopping purposes.
Teach her about the importance of good hygiene. As my daughter is experiencing physical changes, I’m frequently checking to make sure she’s using good hygiene. Without proper hygiene, unpleasant body odor may become noticeable and embarrassing. To help keep her fresh and clean, I remind my daughter about the important of bathing and show her how to use deodorant. If menstruation has started, my friends advise showing a daughter how to use and dispose of sanitary products appropriately.
Puberty can be a time of great uncertainty for daughters and their mothers. It’s important to talk about puberty with our daughters so they will be prepared for the changes ahead. I’m thankful for my friends’ wise counsel and now feel better equipped to help my daughter through puberty. Do you have any useful tips? If so, feel free to leave a comment.
© 2014, Andrea Thorpe. All rights reserved.